Monday, October 25, 2010

The slut within?

I know this is a blog about not dating, so you’d think I’d have all the time in the world to blog about my exciting evenings at home wrapped in my Snuggie. But ladies, Mr.Right is not going to magically appear in my living room, come on! Although that would be awesome! And if he were wearing a matching Snuggie, even better! So, I get out Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays, on good hair and good face weeks :) 
(This is my excuse for not having blogged in a week, and I’m sticking to it)
Last week, my friend discovered this site called Montreal.tv which lists each day all events happening in and around Montreal, and which led us to the Hotel Place D’Armes 10th year anniversary last Wednesday. So (let’s call her Pollie) Pollie and I head on over to the event, and Oh.My.Lord were we delighted! Free booze, free oyster bar, free cheese buffet, and foie gras popcorn!!! Oh yeah, did I mention the room was filled with men? And foie gras popcorn?! Needless to say, we left the party full and drunk. 
As I made my way from one buffet to another, my friend Pollie was approached by one man, oggled by another, and another. I managed to introduce myself between bites to the ones that approached her, but come on, how often do you get to indulge in a free cheese buffet? With nut bread!     
There are some women that dont even have to try, men will flock to them. While I gotta pull out all the skills to be charming and witty to keep a man’s attention (oh wonderful - I’m one of those with a “great personality”...), all Pollie has to do is look at a guy and he makes his way over. What scent does the emanate? Eau de confidence? Or Eau de RWARR? 
And here comes her polar opposite, me. Cute face, nice cleave, junk in the trunk, and cannot approach a guy for the life of me. Definetely not a go-getter in that department.  
The next day, I get an e-mail from Pollie. Something along the lines of “You don’t realize your full potential, it’s all in the confidence, bla bla bla, I need to teach you a thing or two, please let me, please please let me,” or so I read between the lines. 
Part of me, realizing that I could use the help, I agreed to have her tell me what I’m doing wrong, and maybe her smell will rub off me. Also, it’ll give me something to blog about! Yes, investigative blogging! Who are we kidding, I need the help...
I am a little afraid that she’ll unleash the slut within, she keeps telling me to bring out the  “ladies”...Although I wouldn’t mind being, just once in a while, instead of the girl with the “great personality”, the girl with the “great rack”.  

If all else fails, and I’m still on the prowl way into my cougar years, at least I’ll be warm and cuddly :) 

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha your posts always bring a smile to my face. You're awesome. :)

    That event sounds FABULOUS! Kind of makes me wish I was single so I could go to those. Lol. I mean, free buffet?! Hot guys?! Yes, please.

    It seems we are quite similar when it comes to the whole guy thing. Whenever I'm out with my friend Kerrie, guys flock to her and I'm pretty much ignored. It's those times where I'm glad not to be single. Sigh. I know it sounds cheesy, but there are cute guys out there who are looking for someone who is cute, witty, and fun to be with, not just some bombshell who knows how to work the male species (not saying your friend is like that, but generally speaking). It's just a matter of being at the right place at the right time. Sounds hit and miss, but believe me, it will happen. ;)

    PS. Your sweet words regarding my woe-is-me post were SO appreciated. Thank you.

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